In Love with a Married Man…
an imaginary letter from the Lover to the Wife
(Written from the point of view of the “other woman”) !!
The deep understanding we share, the uninhibited laughter, the common interests – when was the last time you experienced any of that? Because if you can’t remember any of those feelings, surely you must forgive me. You may have been married for 15 years, and I have been your husband’s lover for just six months. You have been to places together, created a home and raising children together. I admire your attention to your personal details – your job, your body shaping and beauty enhancements. You are passionate about cleanliness, endlessly exhorting house-maid to keep the washed plates on the right side of the platform and not inside the drawers. How do I know all these things?
Dear wife of my beloved lover!! If you think that you are so perfect and so is your marriage, well what is your husband doing with me in the first place? I respect the institution of marriage very much but I respect love more!!
I do not expect society to accept something as twisted as a love affair.
I understand that having an affair with a married man is not ‘ethically or morally right’, but is this right that the entire society, including you – blame only me? You accuse me of trapping and misguiding your husband. What is he, a child? He is grown up, married, mature. If despite all this, he was drawn towards me and I did not resist, how come when it comes down to the verdict of the greatly ethical society or you – why it is only me who is wrong? Doesn’t a relationship involve two people?
Your husband, the man who does all your shopping, is the father of your children, who runs your house, fulfills all your and your family’s desires, who couriers the medicines that your ailing parents requires, and who loves me passionately too. What is stronger – 15 years of togetherness, or six months of passion?
Do you ever look at him with the same passion as I do? Do you have any idea of the drowsy sensual late-night conversations we both have from our respective beds? “I love you and I want you so badly,” he says. He adores the way I keep my hair natural, all in waves. He loves the way I stay away from all the gyms you go to, the diets you follow. He doesn’t intend to compare, but your obsession with keeping yourself fit and attractive and hence avoiding the crazy ways he wants to be intimate in – turns him off. My carefree nature and cravings for his love bites makes him feel alive with lust and desire.
But do you think I can have it all? No, I still want so much more. I envy you so much – not because you stay together in the same home and share everything. But wanting to do the small day-to-day routine things with him – like smelling his body odour before tossing his clothes for washing, holding his hand at a social gathering, cooking for him on a weekend… things that you probably take for granted. I struggle to come to terms with the fact that he makes stringent efforts to keep me at a distance and fights the feelings that he has for me.
But dear lady, forgive me if you ever come to know about us.
I’m glad that you will never see this letter… You need not know that he texts me first thing in the morning and converses with me the last thing at night before he sleeps. Those are the tiny bits and pieces of him that I have and I have learned to live with them.
I love him and I love him like crazy, because he loves me back! There was no reason for not loving him, he seemed to be perfect for me from the day we began a relationship. I could have stopped myself from getting closer to him knowing that he was married and had a family.
But sometimes some things are just meant to happen…
I went ahead with my guts. Our small encounters grew into friendship, shared moments, work, pleasure, pain and a whole lot of travelling together. It was feeling very nice to meet him and know him better and closer. I became close to him; we shared a great bond and pulled off into a very close and friendly relationship (maybe a little more than friendship). Till then it was not a committed love, but it was not forgettable either.
I anyway do not understand the massive hue and cry on relationships in this country. Isn’t it an organic thing – sometimes marriages work, sometimes they don’t?
Why can’t we accept these things naturally and let go of the propaganda behind all this?
As a society, we really need to let others be and concentrate on our lives.
Loyalty is great, love is greater and life is short. Let us live and let others live…
When a celebrity walks out of a decades old marriage to marry someone way younger or older – we accept that quite easily… Why does it become so difficult when similar things happen with people we know a little better?
Sometimes a woman cannot resist temptation but having an affair with a married man is always risky…
But I promise, I’m not going to steal him away from you – because deep in my heart I know that he loves you, he respects you… maybe more than me… because you are his wife and will always be his better half !!
And yes, I love you too – since we both have a strong emotional connection, where we are mad for the same man… just differently…
I am your friend – the Other Woman !!